Chronic stress, trouble sleeping, physical discomfort, sadness, low energy, and cloudy thinking can all be signs of disconnection from the body, and of being less in touch with ourselves, others, and life.
Many of us notice these mental, emotional, and physical symptoms every day. Yet when we look for healing, meaning, or clarity, we often forget how important it is to connect with our bodies.
When we feel disconnected, we often look for answers outside ourselves. We might try a new tool, read a self-help book, or attend a workshop. These actions may help for a while, but the main problems remain. We face the same symptoms and challenges, and we wonder why things don't change, even when we try hard.
Healing begins in the body
Healing from unresolved trauma often begins by paying attention to the body's signals. The body can support recovery because it reflects what is happening beneath the surface. Unresolved traumas and emotional wounds do not exist only in the mind; they are embodied experiences, carried each day. Noticing emotional triggers, aches, pains, and stress can be the first step toward deeper healing.
Healing, like building a house, needs a strong foundation. If we don't address the fight, flight, shutdown, or fawn states and support our nervous system, it's hard to make lasting changes or do any meaningful inner work. Real change starts when you feel grounded, safe, and present in your body. That is always the first step, and it doesn't usually happen on our own.
Why breathwork alone isn't enough
What I hear often from people is that they try — very hard — to regulate their nervous system and reconnect with themselves through grounding, breathwork, "exercises that shift their bodies out of fight-or-flight mode," or that "stimulate the vagus nerve." These are all enticing phrases we hear often on social media, but they aren't enough to recover from years of built-up stress and unresolved trauma.
The nervous system is designed to adapt, with the right understanding and support. Learning to work with discomfort as a signal, not a threat, is important. Building somatic capacity and relational safety is often what is needed. Approaches like somatic experiencing, hakomi, focusing, craniosacral and myofascial release, and sensorimotor psychotherapy can help along the way.
A simple guide to your nervous system
Your nervous system helps your body adapt and survive. Simply put, it's there to give you the best chance of staying alive, and its main job is to protect you. Think of it as an internal guard dog, always on the lookout for safety or danger. It also controls your heart rate, digestion, and sleep, and it shapes how you respond to the world. It is composed of two parts.
The central nervous system
The central nervous system is made up of the brain and spinal cord. It controls high-level functioning like thoughts, memories, emotions, and sensory processing. It also manages reflexes and makes sense of the information sent from the peripheral nervous system.
The peripheral nervous system
The peripheral nervous system is a network of nerves branching from the spinal cord. It transmits information to and from the brain to the rest of the body, and monitors and adjusts the body's homeostasis, helping to regulate automatic processes like digestion and heart rate. Within it are two branches: the somatic nervous system, which controls voluntary movements like typing, speaking, and running, and the autonomic nervous system, which controls involuntary processes like sweating, digesting, and heart rate.
Polyvagal theory: the autonomic ladder
One of the most powerful models I've found for working with the nervous system comes from neuroscientist and psychologist Dr Stephen Porges, called Polyvagal Theory. Developed in the early 1990s after his study of the vagus nerve, his teachings have since been built on by many other professionals.
His theory essentially holds that there are multiple levels at which our nervous systems respond to the world. These form an autonomic ladder that moves from lack of safety to safety, and back again.
What regulation actually means
Learning to regulate your nervous system means moving out of chronic stress states and spending more time in the ventral vagal state. Regulation is when we can move through all four states without getting stuck — when we can always return to a baseline.
Note: this is a working draft adapted from Nicole's longer piece; final wording and references to be confirmed before publishing.